“The state’s septic swindle” – a poem by Jeanine Bird
The council's makin' money from the outback dunny
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It's revenue, subject to your residue; it ain't funny!
Taxin' taxin' taxin, peering into poo —
The poo police are comin', and they're comin' after you!
True blue cockatoo, it's a screw on your loo
Nanny State cash grab, Council coup -
Blame it on Wallis Lake, State's on the take!
Only they could find a way to make you pay
For a coastal estuary problem, way away:
A coast specific bellyache, hepatitis outbreak ….
And only 20 years ago-o-o …. they sure take the cake!
Yesssss …..
The council's makin' money from the outback dunny
It's revenue, subject to your residue; it ain't funny!
Taxin' taxin' taxin, peering into poo —
The poo police are comin', and they're comin' after you!
They say they have to catch up, review their operations,
So scared of litigation — those septic legal obligations —
Sudden need to referee what owners always oversee?
No hepatitis history, owners supervised successfully —
Strangely managed very well without a septic fee
Or charges on their slush 'n' flush, for over a century.
But Council needing revenue WILL revalue our residue!
The council's makin' money from the outback dunny
It's revenue, subject to your residue; it ain't funny!
Taxin' taxin' taxin, peering into poo —
The poo police are comin', and they're comin' after you!
Country people were the glue; may have met their waterloo
If Council pursue their private loo; revalue local residue -
Imposing fees and charges, a septic tax collector!
Assessing microbic anaerobic: invoke the germaphobic,
Appoint a poo inspector, a microbic collector detector
To confer “approval to operate” on the current septic state!
Yes, Council's plan for affluence, is our effluence to rate.
The council's makin' money from the outback dunny
It's revenue, subject to your residue; it ain't funny!
Taxin' taxin' taxin, peering into poo —
The poo police are comin', and they're comin' after you!
Quality assurance? World's best practice, or Septic Swindle?
Are we to believe and submit, and meekly remit to this fiddle?
Or rally our Councillors to transmit to the State they admit and aquit
This law for the coast when west of the curtain; AND issue the writ!
We've lived without license of effluence, without sign of negligence —
So clear us of ordinance penance, and to throne tax good riddance.
Council's decree, converting septic to metric's a fiddly fee on a twinkle!
The council's makin' money from the outback dunny
It's revenue, subject to your residue; it ain't funny!
Taxin' taxin' taxin, peering into poo —
The poo police are comin', and they're comin' after you!
There's much to be said for self-regulation in septic aeration.
If it smells, it's a sign it's not all benign, and demands fixation —
Usually with better duration than the town's sewerage station!
Our Septics are bureaucrat-costed, listed, and re-named OSSMS,
It's “On Site Sewerage Management System”, possums!
So Council's taxing flirtation with our private filtration,
Poo police to citizens fleece — should desist and decease
This sinful septic swindle; AND leave the locals to ponder in peace!
Jeanine Bird
Leeton
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Yay or Nay
Yay: A very big thank you to everyone on the Leeton Eisteddfod Highland dancing sub-committee. Without your help setting up, on the day and cleaning up, this day would not have been the success it was. Well done everyone.
A big thank you also to Cheryl Whymark, Marion Thompson and Judy Nolan for the invaluable help you all gave to make the day a success.
And thank you to Fiona Chant for teaching our local girls the sport of Highland Dancing.
Correction
In last Friday’s edition of The Irrigator there were two errors printed in the St Joseph’s Catholic Debutante Ball story.
The event was incorrectly referred to as the “inaugural ball”, which is not the case as it has been held for more than 70 years.
Leeton’s Heather Whittaker was also incorrectly referred to as Helen Whittaker in the article.
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DO YOU have something you want to add to The Irrigator opinion page? Email editor ben.jones@fairfaxmedia.com.au.